Unmasking Grief

I bury my grief under mountains of 'to do's' and distractions.

I try to maintain the mask of happiness I wear – the one that says I have it all together. But it's a charade, a wall I erect to protect you from my broken heart, my fragile soul. Even when I turn a blind eye to its perpetual nudging, it eventually catches up to me, leaving me breathless and empty. It's a constant tug-of-war, with grief always winning in the end, nagging for my attention and feeding off my tears.

I try to outrun my sorrow, but my attempts are futile. Like a sneaky black cat, grief lurks behind corners, ready to pounce. My mind and body are tired from the chase. I’m done running and hiding. It's time to surrender.

I've learned that to feel, grieve, and process is to heal—and it’s a way to honor my Mom and her life, to pay homage to our bond and the immense love I felt for her.

So, from now on, when you ask how I’m doing, I’ll give you an honest answer. Some days are better than others; that’s how life goes after losing someone dear. There will be times when the weight of grief is lighter, and I can smile while sharing memories. Other times, grief will come in like a violent wave, and the pain will feel unbearable. On those days, I will give myself space to be with my sadness and pain.

Grief is not a linear journey. It's a winding path full of ups and downs, twists and turns. It is a part of me now, and I am learning to carry it with presence, understanding, and grace.

Photo: Angelo Pantazis (@angelopantazis) | Unsplash Photo Community